the start of something new

Monday, June 8, 2020


Shuffling through the pages, its cover worn and signs of clearly been flipped through before.  A book of memories still etched in a girl’s brain.  A book of mistakes made and lessons learned.  Tales told of the beauty of growth and how shyness blossoms into confidence just as a flower blooms.  Discovering the crevices and learning to love the small things.  A grand adventure, not because it’s a story of brave knights and heroic courage- but a story of unveiling the ordinary, to find it is not so ordinary after all.

A life that has been made up of countless memories.  A little girl, her attention snagged by the sight of a butterfly flitting her way.  Playing dress up and drinking tea on a picnic blanket spread across the field surrounded by flowers grown wild.  She lays there, entire dreamscapes unwinding, taking flight in her mind. She runs through the trees, eagerly embracing the feeling of adventure that wraps her bones and floods her soul, as she experiences the authenticity of the beauty that surrounds her.  Air tinted with the scent of adventure fills her lungs and nostrils, and tangled forests and exuberant treasures lay hidden within her frame.  A little girl, made in love, her heart pumps joy faster than her blood can keep up.  

As she grows, she meets new people and explores new places and ideas.  She learns that life is not always easy and at times hard things are demanded of her.  There are vile things in the world she lives in but she must learn to resist conforming to what is not meant for her.  It is inevitable to escape corruption, but she hangs on to the knowledge of a man whose death conquered all evil and freed her from fears that threatened to trap her in a cage.       

Undoubtedly, she makes mistakes.  She falters often, not always saying the right things, or doing what she knows is right and true. But you cannot watch a flower bloom.  Growth is a process and assuredly our desire to develop and improve does not result in perfect execution.  But it is through those mistakes she learns to flourish.  She learns humility and kindness and her timid nature sprouts wings, expanding towards the horizons of confidence and determination.  And yet despite all of the knowledge and skills she has acquired, she still has so much more to learn. 

Why her Creator yearns for her to effloresce, He does not allow her to do it on her own.  When the skies are at peace or when the rain takes over, He protects her from the storms.  While at times it is tempting, she’s learning not to depend on her own heart, but trust in the one who will never fail, or ever leave her.   

Her life is a story, spelt out on every line.  All of the things she took for granted, the details, and little everyday things, have proven to play a bigger role in her life than she’d ever imagined.  All the little moments gone unnoticed, the small details hidden within the fissures.  Learning to see the beauty and experience the joy in the little things so often overlooked.  What a pleasure it is to see how those small things pertain to something so much more. 

She’s entering a new phase of life.  A stage she’s been dreaming of for as long as she can remember.  As a little girl, sprawled out on the grass, staring into the sky, watching the clouds take shape as she imagines different versions of the life she could one day live.  Behind all of her castles in the sky, lay newfound freedoms, new faces, new opportunities. 

She’s older now, and excitement shines in her eyes as she watches her dreams begin to take flight.  She wants to do all of it.  She wants to learn all she can and see and hear and feel and taste all that she can and speak all of the words in her heart. But it’s infuriating to know that she cannot do everything, or comprehend everything and she does not know how to articulate all of the things she feels so deeply and wants to share so fervently.  But she understands she is not meant to be able to do everything.  And why it is frustrating at times it’s also alleviating to know her role here on earth is only to serve and bring glory to the Maker of the Universe and the Savior of the world.  That alone is the most wondrous thing she could ever do in all of her life.         

Life can look and feel so ordinary and it’s so easy to waste time because we’re missing out on what’s right it front of us or have taken for granted the life we’ve been given.  But life is so much more than just a time to exist.  It’s a time to live, a time to embrace every moment and experience love and joy as best we can.  Yes, pain is inevitable.  But joy always comes after the sorrow.  This once a little girl is growing.  She’s not a little girl anymore.  Yes, she’s wasted plenty of time before.  Yes, she’s been naïve and said foolish things before. 

But her story is not over yet.         

She does not know the number of pages left to this Once Upon a Time…but she trusts the Author to fill them as He sees fit.  She longs to know of all the places they may lead or the people they may meet or the ideas they shall surely discover.  The ink on the pages thus far explores all she has been through.  Lost roads, and dark corners and heavy work- yet also constant love and incandescent happiness.  She keeps reading the words from the Author’s pen, for she knows He’ll fill the pages right before she reaches the Great Story, a story no earthly being has ever read. 

Like a butterfly, her wings unfold and take flight towards the start of something new.


  

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